I was at work last night, catching up with a supervisor I haven't seen in ages, when I realized that April is almost over and I haven't updated the blog in well over a month. I think it's because I feel guilty about not having more pictures of finished stuff but it's not like anyone *actually* reads this thing, so there isn't anyone to care. Yay for existing in a vacuum!
Seriously though, I have done quite a bit since the middle of March.
For starters, that ugly blanket is finished. The baby is curled up under it right now - snoring like a grown ass man - and I have started another one for my oldest. She wanted hers in white, black, and red though so it's a bit more modern than tan, brown, and rust. I used the directions for a seamless blanket (who puts a seam down the middle of an afghan?!?!) which makes this bugger a good deal wider than the "half-ghan" that the baby got. It is fairly tedious and only gets pulled out when I need to veg on the couch or am drunk. Often times it's both.
My husband and I went on a trip with some of our friends to a big fighting game tournament in Atlanta at the end of March, so I took along my almanac and enough yarn to make the February baby blanket/shawl. It was surprisingly quick to knit and it turned out beautifully despite my attempts to work on it during/after the festivities on Saturday night. I'll get pictures maybe sometime. I also found a finished baby kimono while pawing through my stash for another project. My husband's friend's baby is going to be *set* on the hand knits.
I also remembered just why I never finished the April project the last time. Now, don't get me wrong, the idea of this blanket is incredibly cool. You start each square in the center, work your way to the edge, then put that bad boy on some waste yarn and move on to the next. You end up having all of these little squares with live borders that get sewn together in a way that challenges you to find where the join is and how the blanket was made. Awes. . . HOLD THE FUCK UP. I have to *sew these bastards together by hand*? Is this bitch on crack? This pattern SUCKS. I hate to say that about any of EZ's stuff but if I am being honest, Mrs. Zimmerman created this pattern for masochists and for her own sick amusement. Count me out on this one. I'll sew together what I have, slap a border on it, and give it to the baby. Or the trash can. Maybe the baby will give it to the trash can. Yeah. I can go with that.
In an effort to avoid going completely crazy with the EZ pattern, I took to the pattern page on Ravelry to find something that wouldn't make me want to scratch my eyes out. I found this. I broke one of my cardinal rules and *paid real money* for a *knitting* pattern. I immediately grabbed yarn and sat down in front of the computer to cast on. I spent the next three days knitting, ripping, knitting again, screaming at the designer, and throwing yarn across the apartment. This pattern is a translation of a translation at best. There is so much copy-pasting going on that you would think it was a freshman lit paper. Did the designer just plug her original directions into Google Translate? I don't know what I was thinking when I clicked "buy now". It was my birthday, maybe I was high on cake fumes? I powered through it though and after sifting through the English language support thread (of which a good deal is in Spanish) I was able to figure it out.
This pattern is genius in it's use of short rows. I wish I could come up with this kind of stuff as easily as I can sweaters. Yes, it takes a bit more concentration than I would like, but after making my favorite scarf in the history of ever I can handle it. At least I don't need to keep track of beads and tiny ass crochet hook. I wouldn't exactly call this pattern a fun knit for most people, but it is deliciously technical. I like patterns like that on occasion. I think EZ would approve.